Overheard in 221B
by greekprincess189
Summary: What an eaves-dropper might hear outside of 221B.
1. Chapter 1

Oh hullo! I'm an American and this is Sherlock crack. This was also written sometime either extremely late or extremely early depending on your point of view and after a glass of wine and a dose of BOREDOM.

So enjoy!

"Bor-"  
"No."  
"What?"  
"Tell me dear brother, how can your _immensely_ intelligent brain fail to find a way to entertain yourself without causing collateral damage to the innocent and environment?"  
"...Give me my skull."  
"No. You already have it."  
"Obviously I am in possession of it. Give me back my friend."  
"John is at work."  
"I need the human skull you are holding."  
"What? This?"  
"**Give**."  
"No."  
"**_Give_**."  
"I thought you didn't like to repeat yourself."  
"Oh, what's that paper package in your pocket?"  
"Candy."  
"I thought you were on a diet."  
"A rather eccentric friend from America gave it to me."  
"Friend?"  
"In a manner of speaking."  
"He's trying to 'get off' with 'Anthea'."  
"I am entirely unconcerned."  
"Of course. That's why you're banning him from England."  
"None of your business."

"Candy."  
"You'll rot your teeth."  
"Better than rotting my brain."  
"Sugar is not an effectual stimulant."  
"Pop rocks?"  
"I'm glad you have preserved the ability to read."  
"It's not poisoned, is it?"  
"Mummy would be upset."  
"You would be happy."  
"Eat it."

"Are you choking, brother?"  
"Achhskkkddd..."  
"Hmm... What color roses do you prefer on your coffin?"  
"Ksddkkack-I'm-djakv-dying-  
sdkat-tell-xachdm-John-tejavj-not-ahdkshj-to-sjh-"  
"It's not poison, by the way."  
"_Why_... _Why_... **_Why_** is it exploding in my throat?!"  
"Carbon dioxide trapped in globules of sugar."  
"Ackhavjxh..."  
"You weren't supposed to swallow it. Especially not the whole packet at once."  
"You didn't tell me that.  
"John liked them."

"Do you have more?"  
"You want more?"  
"Not for me."  
"John?"  
"Moriarty."  
"Ah... I'll have Anthea send you some."  
"Good."  
"Be sure to tell him to swallow."  
"Obviously."  
"Sherlock."

"Are you bored now?"

Yes."  
_

"Sherlock."  
"Yes, John."  
"Is that the phone from the Study in Pink?"  
"Mhmm."  
"Are you playing a game?"  
"Shh.."  
"Is that Angry Birds?"  
"Too easy."  
"Yeah right."  
"There. All levels complete."  
"How long did it take you? Three hours?"  
"Half an hour."  
"... That's really not fair."  
"How so?"  
"It took me a week."  
"... I'm bored now."  
"Sherlock."  
"Yes?"  
"Try playing Tap Tap Revenge."  
"What? Why?"  
"You're bored. Play the game before you start shooting the wall."

"It's a musical rhythm game?  
John, this is inane."  
"You were playing Angry Birds."  
"It required a knowledge of trajectory."  
"You play the violin. You should know rhythm."  
"Hmph. Fine."  
"Good."  
"Pop songs."  
"Yeah. Choose one."  
"Firework?"  
"Okaayyy..."  
"CUZ BABY YOU'RE A FIREWWWOOORRRRKKK!"  
"Sherlock! Turn it down!"  
"Shush John, I'm trying to concentrate! It's hard enough with the rainbow buttons and scantily clad females lolling about in pink clouds."

"I should have confiscated the phone."  
"You were the on- Stupid stupid button! I pressed it on time. No! There goes- No! It was exactly timed to the nano-second! This isn't rhythm!"  
"Mathematical music theory does not apply to pop songs, Sherlock."

"Why am I playing this?"  
"Because you were bored."  
"Give me the gun."  
"No. Would you like to rescue cats?"

"What's Afro Circus?"


	2. Chapter 2

**I just sort of type these out whenever I'm bored. Which is very often. But hey, it's better than shooting walls! I'm not sure I could stave off the guys in white coats that long...**

"Sherlock, everyone is asleep now."  
"Oh?"  
"Yeah. What are you doing?"  
"Reading."  
"Reading what?"  
"Words."  
"Haha, very funny. Give me that."  
"Catch."  
"Oof. No need to throw it so hard."  
"You asked for it."  
"No- Oh... A cookbook? Sherlock, I thought you weren't to be bothered with 'useless' information, much less about food."  
"I'm hungry. Make me a cookie."  
"What, now? Sherlock, t's almost midnight!"  
"I don't see how that affects the process of baking."  
"We don't have ingredients."  
"Yes, we do."  
"No, we don't."  
"Cupboard."  
"Fine...  
What the?"  
"Bake."  
"Sherlock..."  
"I thought you encouraged eating."  
"Yes, but- oh alright!"  
"Page 27. Chocolate chip."  
"Hmmm... You're going to have to help me."  
"What?"  
"Yes, Sherlock. Either that or no cookie."

"What's the first step?"  
"Gather and measure the dry ingredients..."  
"I don't suppose we can use the beakers for that."  
"The one's with chemicals? Of course not!"  
"Yes... We wouldn't want Mycroft sending a bio-hazardous waste team around."  
"I was thinking about avoiding food poisoning actually."  
"Okay, there. All measured."  
"Sherlock, you can't just dump everything in the bowl. You need to measure."  
"I once estimated the exact amount of blood on a car seat, what makes you think I can't measure baking supplies."  
"Gee, you're an arrogant twit."  
"I'm glad you realize that."  
"Alright, well. Melt the butter."  
"Hmmm..."  
"SHERRRRLLLLOOOOCCCKKK!"  
"Oh, I left the eyeballs in there."  
"That is gross. I'm not touching that. You clean it up."  
"It's not that bad."  
"Oh... Ugh. Here, let me melt the butter."  
"The microwave is out of commission."  
"I'll use the stove."

"The next step is to cream the butter and sugar together...  
Sherlock! Put that down!"  
"Calm down, John. It's the baking soda in water."  
"Baking soda water doesn't glow green last I checked!"  
"Just put it down!"  
"Fine."  
"Hew... Okay, that's done. Add the eggs..."  
"John..."  
"Yes, Sherlock."  
"This is amusing."  
"Good to know."  
"John, are you even looking?"  
"What? Oh my gosh, turn off the stove, turn it off!"  
"You burnt the toes."  
"I'm sorry I left the burner on but what are you doing with toes in a pot?"  
"It was an experiment. Would you rather have them in the sink?"  
"What? Oh never mind. Pass me the vanilla. Thank you."  
"Are we going to bake it now?"  
"Yeah, hold on. Preheat the oven first but please make sure there are no questionable items in there."  
"What is 'questionable" to you?"  
"Anything that is not normally consumed by civilized humans. Cannibals don't count."  
"I took the umbrella out."  
"Oh no... That isn't Mycroft's is it?"  
"What? This melted and scorched thing? Of course not."  
"Whew..."  
"It _was_. Of course, my dear brother will definitely notice it's missing once he wakes up from a rather nasty hangover. It's surprising how much knockout liquid you can sneak into his cup of tea..."  
"He's going to kill us."  
"I think he'll leave you out of it."  
"Ahahaha- no he won't. Probably will have the best lawyers on my butt."  
"Oh, the oven is heated."  
"Good. In we go!"  
"John, we are not going in there, the cookies are."  
"I know that Sherlock. It's just something my mum used to say when popping things in the oven."  
"Oh..."

-A good while later-

"Sherlock. The cookies are ready!"  
"Finally! Oh, don't eat any."  
"What? I deserve to!"  
"Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you."  
"Oh my gosh! Hawt, hawt, hawt!"  
"This would be excellent blackmail material."  
"Shut up Sherlock! Oh my, hegh hegh hawwwwttttt... Water, water..."  
"I did tell you."  
"What did you sneak in there?!"  
"You were the one who put it in."  
"You replaced the vanilla with capsicain?!"  
"Ah, yes. The chemical that makes peppers hot. Adds a nice kick."  
"Kick?!- Are you eating one?"  
"What? It's good."  
"You know what? You eat all the cookies. I'm going to bed."  
"Wait, John! I can't eat ALL of them!"  
"Use your brain! Send them to Mycroft or something."

"Ohh... That's actually a good idea..."

**Reviews make me want to write! **


	3. Chapter 3

**I in no way own The Voice, Josh Groban, BBC, or Sherlock. I only own my brain and I'm not too sure of that one.**

"Mycroft."  
"Hello John."  
"Why are you in our apartment? Watching _telly_?"  
"You stated it yourself, I am watching television for the public masses."  
"Wait. Is that? Is that the Voice?"  
"Yes, why? Is there a problem?"  
"No, no, no, no..."  
"That's good then. Oh, you might want to take a seat."  
"Okaaayyyy..."  
"_When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;_  
_When troubles come and my heart burdened be;_"  
"Hmm.. They normally show footage to the audience by now..."  
"You watch this John?"  
"Oh, yes."  
"_Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,_  
_Until you come and sit awhile with me._"  
"This guy is good. Nice baritone. I wonder what he looks like."  
"Just wait, one of the judges is about to turn around..."  
"_Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,_  
_Until you come and sit awhile with me._"  
"That's brilliant! Turn around you blokes! This guy is amazing!"  
"Wait, John."  
"_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains_;"  
"This is ridiculous, why aren't they turning around?"  
" _John_. **One, two, thr-**"

"_**Beep.**_"

...awkward silence in 221B...

"Oh my-"  
"Have a drink."  
"I'm not dreaming or high or anything, right?"  
"Quite right."  
"And that isn't Sherlock singing is it?"  
"I'm afraid it is."  
"_You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;_  
_I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;_  
_You raise me up... To more than I can be._"  
"I can't believe it."  
"But it is true nonetheless. Sherlock is doing an undercover investigation."  
"He's getting rather into it. Gives me shivers and not just because it's good."  
"Sherlock is rather talented, isn't he?"  
"Good? He's amazing! Oh... Quick, record it!"  
"I'm glad to see you're taking full advantage."  
"The logical part of my brain has ceased to function, Mycroft. I can't do anything else right now."  
"Have a drink."  
"Thanks... Bet you fifty quid he wins."  
"I'd prefer not to bet against my brother. Us Holmes do enjoy to win."

"Oh... you're right."

-next day in the Yard-  
"LESTRAAAAAAAAADDDEEEEE.."  
"What is it Donovan?"  
"Everyone's watching the Voice."  
"Well them to get to work!"  
"It's the freak singing."  
"Oh..."

"Sir?"  
"Everyone gets a five minute break. Quick, hand me the remote!"  
"Yes, sir!"


End file.
